Thursday, January 17, 2013

Worst. Mother's. Day. Ever.

For today's bad parenting installment, we are going to go back to Mother's Day 2011. What makes it the worst Mother's Day ever you ask? For starters, your husband and children giving you an iTunes gift card as a gift, and it's still wrapped in the grocery bag they got when they bought it. Who wants an iTunes gift card for Mother's Day?  Apparently my family thinks I do.

We had a pretty rough winter and spring that year in the big MO (Missouri) and that Mother's Day was pretty much the first really nice and warm day we had. We decided to go to the park over behind our housing office (military housing). They have a playground and a little splash pad thing over there. We even took the dogs over with us, it was such a pretty day.

So Brian and I are sitting there watching the kids play in the splash pad thing and we watch as Lily goes over to sit down on a concrete bench that is part of a concrete picnic table set up. I watch her put her hands on the bench to push herself up and then boom! The bench part falls off the pedestal part and lands directly on her foot. I don't know how she got her foot out from under the bench but by the time I got to her 5 seconds later, the bench was no longer on her foot. I just see blood coming from her big toe and I figure her toenail was ripped off. I scoop her up, yell for Brian and Brady to come on and I start walking home with a screaming her head off Lily. Halfway home, Brian has caught up with me, I stop (because I'm carrying a kid half my weight) and look down at her foot. Already swollen and black and blue just in those few minutes. I hand her over to Brian, take the dogs from him and tell him to just put her in the car, we're going to the ER.

Being the good parents that we are, we have no idea where Brady is. We just naturally assume he's following us. So we run home, throw the dogs in the house, Lily in the car, me in the driver's seat.....and no Brady in sight. Brian goes to look for him. I can see Brian on the next street over from ours yelling for Brady to come on. Brady had apparently decided he was going to take his sweet time in getting home by going the long way AROUND all the houses instead of cutting through the middle of the houses. Brian is still yelling for Brady to come on. Apparently Brady isn't coming because all of a sudden I see Brian take off in a dead sprint. Few minutes later, I see him carrying a screaming, crying Brady whose (who's?) pants are half down from Brian dragging him. So, not only have our neighbors seen us carrying one screaming kid through the neighborhood, they have now seen us stand there and scream like a banshee at the other kid to come on and then carrying that kid screaming through the neighborhood as well. I'm sure child protective services have been called at this point. (Side note--Brady is screaming and upset because Brian left his scooter down the street where Brady was. Asperger's children are very self centered. It's not a personality trait, it's a part of the disorder. They do not understand correctly human emotions either. His brain could only wrap around himself and his scooter. Not that his sister was in pain.)

So we drive to the local children's hospital ER with 2 soaking wet, screaming children. Again, I'm thinking if our neighbors haven't called CPS yet, the children's hospital is going to. They were nice enough to give both children gowns and warm blankets, and they squirted some Fentanyl up Lily's nose. In just a few minutes she went from screaming her head off to blowing bubbles like a drunk idiot (If I ever break something, someone make sure they squirt some Fentanyl up my nose). Long story short--foot was broken, got it casted the next day. So we leave the ER and head home to try and salvage some of the day since my husband was making me some smoked ribs and chicken on the smoker. Get home and all the smoke alarms in our house are going off. We had left a candle burning and it had started melting the glass. This prompted our switch to Scentsy and we no longer have candles in our house. Needless to say, by this point the only thing left to do is just go to bed....which was impossible because Lily was in pain and the pain meds weren't helping.....



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