Friday, May 15, 2015

Praise--how much is too much?

I read this article today:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/clint-edwards/just-because-i-get-up-in-the-night-doesnt-mean-i-deserve-praise_b_7046072.html

It got me thinking about praise.  Are we raising a society of children who require constant praise and affirmation?  I have 2 kids.  One of those 2 kids requires constant praise.  CONSTANT.  It gets exhausting.  It's to the point that we have to have discussions about how I can't praise everything you do and just because I don't, doesn't mean I don't love you.  I'm going to be flat out honest here--it annoys me to no end.  Like it's to the point that I will purposefully not praise something that said kid does just because the constant need for affirmation annoys me.  It's not like this child has had some kind of emotionally distant childhood.  The kid has had lots of love and affection and encouragement throughout life.

I fear that children of this generation are going to grow up and feel that every single time they do something at their job, or in their homes, or whatever, that they will need some kind of praise for that.  NO.  How about you just do something because that's your job?  I will be the first to admit that I always like it when someone says, "Hey good job!"  However, I don't need constant praise for doing my job.

Child experts will tell us that we need to be positive with our children.  Give them praise and encouragement.  However, there are times that I just want to say, "What on earth are you doing?  That is the stupidest thing ever!"  Why is it so wrong to occasionally not be positive and encouraging and just tell them the truth?

Back to the link above that started this whole thought process, why do we feel the need to praise our spouse for everything they do?  Better yet, why does our spouse need the praise for doing things around the house or with the children?  What's the right amount of praise to give our children without making them become so dependent on it?

Your thoughts?

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