"You ARE the weakest link! Goodbye!"

Remember that game show?  For some reason I believe that the contestant fell through a hole in the floor once they were deemed to be the weakest link.  Brian Romick tells me it did not happen that way, that they just walked off stage left or something.  I like my version better.  This totally describes how this week and basically my entire parenting life has felt to me.  I feel like I am the weakest link of parenting.   I have never really felt like a great parent. I guess I feel that as long as I feed them, clothe them, keep them fed, give them shelter and do not abuse them that I do at least have a leg up above some people. 

So as you all know, Lily is our resident hisser, growler, and just plain don't want to do what the teacher says to do, child.  She has been to the behavioral therapist a few times and Monday, Brian and I started what I like to call "Parent Training Classes."  So it's Brian, Lily and myself in a room with her therapist.  Future sessions down the road, the therapist will be on the other side of a window thing listening to us and will have bugs in our ear telling us what we should say instead of what we are saying.  This is a very hard task for me to grasp hold of.  My brain keeps telling me it's a bunch of hippie BS.  However, I guess that since I apparently suck as a parent, I will follow the hippie BS.  So we took 5 minute turns in our "play interaction" time with Lily and the therapist kept a score of how many times we gave Lily a labeled (specific) praise, neutral comments, unlabeled praise, imitation of her actions, reflections back to her, commands and questions.  Commands and questions are a no-no.  We are not to do those.  So when Lily wants to start mixing colors of Play-Doh together, how am I supposed to tell her that we cannot do that without giving her a command?  This was my moment of panic.  The therapist is watching me....grading me....making little check marks on her paper!  The timer is ticking down.....how the heck am I going to handle this?  I start sweating....Lily is reaching for the 2nd color of Play-Doh....I'm telling myself, "You can do this!  Think!" It boiled down to me failing that task. I straight up just said, "You can not mix the two colors of Play-Doh together.  They do not belong to us."  I gave a command.  FAIL!  You never really realize how hard it is to give labeled praises such as, "I love how well you made that horse out of Play-Doh." until you have someone watching you do it.  The therapist takes a turn to show me and Brian how it's done (she totally showed us up).  She was all, "Lily, I love how you're sitting nicely in your chair.  Lily, I love how you're using your indoor voice.  Lily, I love how you put those two puzzle pieces together.  Etc....etc...etc."  The whole time I'm sitting there going, "Why couldn't I think of those when it was my turn?"  Needless to say, we have lots more parent training ahead of us.....

This brings us to the male child.  Brady mentioned to his therapist that he wanted to start taking his showers in the morning before school instead of at night before bed.  I'm all fine and cool with that....until he wakes me up at 3:30 am (this morning) going, "Can I take my shower now?"  Parenting training goes out the window at 3:30 am.  There was no, "Brady, I love how you're using your nighttime voice.  Brady, I love how you're taking the initiative to take a shower. Etc."  None of that.  It was more like "Get your butt back to bed." He comes back in at 4 am "can I get in the shower now?"  Heck no kid!  Get in the bed!! He comes back in at 4:30 am.  Third time was a true parenting failure moment....no nice words were said.....needless to say the kid did not come back in our room again asking if he could get in the shower. 

Lots and lots of parenting training ahead for us.....I kinda don't know that you can teach an old dog new tricks though.